Programmed to Save and Now, It's Official

I've worked on screens since 1993, or thereabouts. It didn't take me long to embrace the mantra "Save is Your Friend!" Some programs had auto-save, even back then, but they were memory hogs and tended to argue with Windows causing crashes and memory dumps.  Clearing out, never mind finding those ~tmp files, was an adventure in itself. Now those auto-saves argue with your virus protection and frankly, Virus Protection better win!  Shutting it off to save your data is not a good idea, just mentioning.

Programmers love their sacred mysteries, end users be their play dough of psycho-social glee.  I imagine them gathered around a conference table planning to Show Us All exactly what we're made of, and how it's Not Pretty.  I call this The Doritos and Pepsi Effect [yes, I'm sure they're all nibbling healthy snacks these days, but Yogurt and Veggies Effect just doesn't sound right, ya know?]. 

It means nothing, but it soothes my soul when programs do not work as advertised and the trouble shooting FAQ suggests you contact someone because you are obviously too stupid to own a computer, never mind this program.  The script following tech-support person *never* has a way to recover your file, but they *always* believe re-installing solves the problem you are.  If I had to work ten to twelve hours a day listening to people too stupid to manually save, I'd probably feel the same way.

While coloring, sketching, or practicing techniques, I have found myself thinking, "I better save this before I go further."  Yeah.  You read that correctly.  For a blurry moment in time, I look at my pencils or book and try to find the save button.  Gawd help me!  I'm programmed to manually save.  I did it to myself.  Somewhere, out there are programmers snickering over their Vitamin Water with pomegranate flavoring and essential minerals.  I'm a statistic on their flow chart of End Users that never have to call tech support.  Whoop-d-dam-doo.

At first this programmed response to coloring surprised me and made me laugh at myself.  Then, as the months went on, it rather irritated me that I still wasn't de-programmed.  I found myself certain then absolutely convinced that I should, could, would, byGawd, master my sense of time and spacial continuity by not thinking of saving as I colored, sketched, or practiced.  You probably realize the futility of that concept.  De-programming takes multiple confrontations that require enormous energy expenditures. Yeah, right, like that's going to happen, not.  I'm a sloth in real time, and pretty much OK with that.

I still work with data and screens and programs created by cunning and manipulative people trying to alter the perspective of end users so they can do away with tech support and have a larger profit margin - end users and employees beDamned. I still save my work a ka-zillion times per working day.  Sooooo, when I spin my chair and transition to Real Life with a multitude of colors, shades, and layers; I expect my programming to just slough off, like the snake skin I've been forced to wear for Years.  It's not working out that way.

The deeper I go into my creative adventures, the less genuine thought there is.  And by the time I get that buzzy, high feeling, I'm practically pre-verbal.  Primitive gibberish is my response when someone asks me how's it going on their way in or out.  I hand wave this as Old Biddy arterial flow issues, but I do know better even if my grown children are fooled.  I am, in this state, a bundle of automatic responses.  I breathe, sip my beverage, fondle colors, and see without being aware of anything around me except Cats snoring on my bed or People speaking my name for the third, possibly fifth time.  So, of course, I want to Save manually. It is an auto-response now, cultivated, nurtured, and essential in what I do to afford my addiction to running water, electricity, and food.

Ha!  I just saved this draft.  I don't remember thinking "save is your friend" to guide my hand. I just see it happening and feel that endocrine rush of relief.  Pathetic.

I am beginning to accept I truly don't have enough years of life left to de-program the auto-response of Save is Your Friend.  I don't color 8 to 10 hours per day, five days a week; the balance of commitment vs confrontation is not in my favor.  So, I guess I'll live with my erratic impulses - or is that compulsion? a maniacal programmer would know - and maybe draw a Save Stone and tape it to my desk.  This way, every time I have that asinine thought, "I better save this," I can just slap at it, physically, without crashing my psyche OR loosing that lovely art buzz.

Something like this maybe?

Who knows, it might work.

Credit where due:  Save Button based on tutorials by Amazing YouTubes 

from ColourwithClaire & VitruvianArt

background is my own GIMP basic noise because 

there was an old coffee stain on the sketchbook page.  

NO idea how that happened or WHY I didn't notice it until I took the photo.

 Life is like that at 6 in the morning.