11 June 2018

Dr. Who Weekend & Cosmic Moments

Family and I were @ConKasterborous in Huntsville, AL over the weekend for  #ConK2018 and had a wonderful time! It's the second time we scrimped and saved for a year and dealt with the challenges of everyone getting days off at the same time [harder than you might imagine for 6 people], booking rooms, not getting lost or missing the exit, and walking much farther than my oxygen starved legs thought they could -ha! amazed myself, I did.  We forgot the world beyond the Con existed for a while, enjoyed our twisted family humor, and ate waaaaay too much good food -hmm, is that possible? -and spread our savings among many talented vendors displaying and selling talismans that will make us smile throughout the year, especially on the hard days that come to all of us.

I recognized some faces from last year, met some new folks, had and listened to several excellent conversations, and remembered to make time to thank the hotel staff at the Westin who seem to take us all in stride; the Security folks that might have been laughing at us but still seemed to enjoy it all anyway; and Ms Bonnie Auten.  You might have seen us ... we were all wearing T-shirts that matched on Day One.  There were So Many groovy t-shirts and costumes and Much Loving Laughter!


Highlight for me was the two question and answer sessions @Mark_Sheppard gave.





I enjoyed Mr. Sheppard as Badger, never get tired of his sardonic James Sterling, love spotting him on DVDs of various shows then hearing that lovely voice subtly work his magic of transforming a character to a Character you want to know more about immediately, if not sooner.  I've yet to see him play a character that didn't grab my imagination before he finished his second line.

Nervous about having my infatuation with a master craftsman spoiled, I was utterly delighted by his interaction with fans. It's a modest sized convention so he was not trapped behind a desk like a school boy reciting his memorized-night-before history project. Not only did he stroll down from the stage, he did several walking tours up and down the aisles, chatting with the shy nerds in the back, allowing the height challenged to snag a photo or ten on their phones, then made time to acknowledge the children present with sympathetic acceptance that some are literally dragged along to these events. His pleasure acknowledging these future fans, and their parents, is obvious and contagious. I confess I was too busy listening and observing to snag a photo. Someday I'll learn to walk and chew gum at the same time.  Hopefully without that inevitable walk in to wall problem.

The thing that struck me most was the fact he took the fans as seriously as he does his art. Sure he pushed back against stupid questions but everyone enjoyed the snark; challenging folks to give as much thought to our questions as we expected him to give answering. That focused nudge made each session so much more than the routine "What was your favorite/ least favorite" banality.  When he dared reverse the question many were caught with nerves that proved just how hard it is to face questions cold and provide any answer.  Was an object lesson as well as hilarious to see us all squirm in our seats a bit, not sure we'd have an answer off the top of our heads either! [tho I'm sure some did because let's face it, fans have thought a great deal about their beloved shows and characters]. It made his articulate and thoughtful answers a gift without price.

Mr. Sheppard is a speaker eager to share there is more to him -and therefore us- than the 2 dimensional view of a screen or the latest fan gossip with obligatory bio.  He's been around just a few years less than this Old Biddy, so the insights and opinions he shared regarding his body of work and fandom in general, had a depth of experience I truly appreciated.  That he didn't apologize for his personal perspectives, while tempering them with the fact they are his, didn't waste time dogging anyone but Fox [for 'stealing' Firefly from us it was deserved], and spoke with great respect of his wife, children, and others emphasized his earnest, honest spirit that he brings to his art.

Was totally worth the drive, sultry heat of Alabama in June, and the denial of this and that to feed the Con Savings.  As grueling as it must be to get to and 'perform' at these events, it seemed to me that he gained a bit of recompense from the interaction as well. I enjoy the younger fans, their energy zaps my weary self with a charge that lasts months.  As mature fans start facing physical reality of ability to go vs keeping the grandkids or working because retirement is farther away than we'd planned, we'll count on them to keep us in the loop and share the thrills.  My stuttering heart regulated by medication is doubly grateful Mr. Sheppard made time to join us this year.

But I ramble -yeah, not new....

I confess ... I was brave enough to get up and ask a question based on pondering at dawn when most of the hotel was still asleep and the stars were fading away in the sky over Huntsville.  Ducks and geese were already busy, birdies were sainging, and I was blessed to share the universe with them, my coffee, and a little notebook. 

During the opening ceremony, there was a fanvid that reminded us all Dr. Who is 55 years young.  I realized I am the same age [actually a wee bit older, but we'll handwave that in the interest of not doing the math, thanks].  That thought struck me -old as Dr. Who- as one of those time paradoxes we love to sift through with a very fine tooth. For the first time, I looked at aging not as a mundane -and not so fun- part of life but as a Cosmic Moment in Time & Space, larger on the inside. Transformed by that thought is probably not visible on the outside, but inside, I felt ... renewed.

Mr. Sheppard spoke at the first session about how the passion of fandom is not something to be ashamed of -or a stereotype to buy in to- and I fervently agreed with his comment about how it's hard to relate to folks that aren't passionate about something.  That the stereotypes of nerds in their parent's basements was never anything but a joke the world -and fandom- took a lot too seriously.  I'm totally down with being a parent without a basement, just as I was a fangirl without one, but somehow that never stopped me from enjoying it all, or my children, all adults now, from finding their joy in a bit of geeking out.

Truth is, most fans are, and always have been, busy trying to bring their passion and excitement to their corners of the world. Isn't that what fandom is mostly about, sharing the passion, experiencing the excitement together, hoping others will someday, if we find just the right moment, Get It. Fans may be framed with cynicism, confront their own fears with dark what ifs, and acknowledge peace everlasting among humans is most unlikely in anyone's lifetime, but that kernel of hope for the future thrives even so. 

As I was pondering my own experiences in that regard, I remembered standing at the book store with my stash of babysitting money waiting on Starlog, later on Omni, and for books that would feed my hungry soul with hope.  I didn't grow up in a hopeful place, but The Future was going to allow all of us, regardless of where we came from, what we looked like, or what our views of cosmic origins were to know a better life was for everyone.  Those books, stories, and movies told us we may have to start in the middle of horrific conditions, or boldly seek it out, or quest farther than our imaginations could conceive to get to that point. Still, beyond the dramatic tension required for good storytelling, there was little doubt we'd get there, eventually.  Lately, that certainty of a better future for all feels precarious, jeopardized in direct ways and this, like my aging, challenges me, greatly.

Which is where I found the courage to ask Mr. Sheppard a question -well that and my children egging me on because they're twisted like that [I have NO idea where they get that!]- I'm young enough to want that certainty back and old enough to know it comes from within, nurtured while actively working for a better world now, if not sooner.  Fandom encourages me to look beyond my narrow daily view, it demands of me that a neighbor or stranger is as in need of my understanding as any character or plot point or cannon, and it insists I apply what I've learned to living, now, not just in some vague future.

For example, when I hear the world "alien" I do not think of borders or nationalities; I hear Vulcan, Tholians, Sontarans, Jagaroth, Ood, or Catkind. I used to worry about that, now I'm grateful my heart and mind is already prepared to resist alienation of other members of my species. I pray I've passed that on to my children with enough conviction to live it in their future. Alone, I'm just a voice of discontent demanding better for all; as part of a convention we are more than our sum. Now, right now!

The geese agreed with me but the ducks were pretty indifferent to my Cosmic Moments, go figure.


Over the years, I've observed fans are restless folks, insisting characters, worlds, and plots must be three -if not four- dimensional.  We fill in blanks, debate, review, consider, and [as we mature] accept we can see things from another's perspective without diminishing ourselves or the work of art we both enjoy. We do this, I think, because we need to see more than the surface presented. We're starving for a world populated by fellow humans that look beyond the moment seeking a future that is better than what we can imagine on another planet, dimension, alternate reality, supernatural phenomenon,  magic, fantasy, or adventure in space and time. 

The art that draws and enchants us, not only provides us with the foundation for those dimensions, it encourages us to expand and build on them and further, to Live It as more than a costume we put on, or a binge we can't help ourselves from indulging in now and then.  The best of these art forms that bring together so many lovers of content and execution of Hope form conventions. There gather folks that create and admire art based on passions combined, that validate hope is not limited to how it's always been but set free by what life can be, if we keep trying. 

The question I wanted to ask was written down in my Con Program, but of course, I was nervous and so I'm not sure I asked it properly or just stuttered like an idiot.  Children said I was comprehensible. Mr. Sheppard was gracious and thorough in his answer.  He met my eyes, talked with me, even smiled, then engaged the room once more with his thoughts.  I felt heard and answered [and yeah, a bit proud of myself for not throwing up] and when my daughter gets home from work, she'll show me the vid she took. Maybe I won't waste time fretting about how much I was sweating or the fact I have really bad teeth that are being slowly rebuilt and therefore fear smiling or talking with others and being dismissed as an ignorant savage. No, I'll still fret, but it was worth it to step outside my shy geek comfort zone and speak with an earnest soul I admire.

The changes mature fans have seen in this last 55 years are almost innumerable -from the years of newsletters anticipated so desperately to the podcasts and youtube fan productions of today- but the core of Good Stories with Good Characters igniting our passion remains the same.  Hope was the Take Away for me from Mr. Sheppard's Sessions.  It's a nutty world -I used the word cruddy- and there are days we surely wonder how much more we can take and still cling to hope. But it IS the people we walk and work with as we create our art of a hopeful life that makes it worth clinging and working toward that future beyond our imaginations. Having that affirmation at a Dr. Who Convention truly was some kind of Cosmic Moments.




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